Wednesday, August 22, 2007

A thought on Parshas Ki Tetze

"...v'chaltza na'alo me'al raglo...""...and she shall remove his shoe from his foot..." (25:9)

The chalitza ritual was performed by a childless widow whose surviving brother in law opted not to take over the role of her late husband. Before a group of judges and others, this bereaved woman would initiate a procedure and declare that such is done to a man who will not continue the build the house of his brother. The core of the ritual was removing the man's shoe, as our verse states. She also spat in his direction.

A midrash observes that we find eleven chukim (statutes) in the Torah, which are defined as commandments or procedures about which the nations, or our own wayward thoughts, might object to or question. The midrash includes shatnes, basar chazir, kilai'im, shor ha'
niskal, egla arufa (see last week's parsha email), tziporei metzora, petter chamor, basar b'chalav, se'ir ha'mishtaleach and para aduma (see email on parshas Chukas from this year.) It also cites rok ha'yevama - the spitting of the widow. It seems curious that the removal of the shoe is not considered among the chukim. This implies that one is able to read some clear meaning into that aspect of the ritual, which would relegate it among the mishpatim class of commandments, those for which we can see some benefit or function (this is not to imply that our interpretations alone suffice to "explain" or validate any mitzva.)

Rabbeinu Bachya ventures an interpretation which might place the shoe removal among the "fathomable" or conceptually tenable commandments: when a man opts to take over the household (and wife) of a deceased brother, he seeks to perpetuate the "life" of his late brother. He is continuing to preserve his name and his estate. In that way, he is allowing the man to "live on." When he refuses to take on this task, however, and does not seek to give the widow children who might carry on a part of that brother's legacy, he has resigned himself to letting that man "remain dead" and for his widow to move on and seek a life for herself.

That decision, choosing not to preserve any element of the brother's life, is choosing death. For a dead brother one must mourn. Mourners remove their shoes. Therefore, the widow enacts the chalitza ritual and symbolizes that "this man has decided to mourn his brother's death rather than allow his name to live on." This is one "meaning" or view of the removing of the shoe, which is enough to also remove it from the chukim category.

We can understand that message. When I was a student of Rav Moshe Feinstein zt'l, I had the good fortune to learn with an inspiring talmid chacham and posek, Rav Baruch Saks shlit'a. He told me that a chassidic widow once brought him the following sheila: her husband had died and left her childless, and her brother in law wanted to go through the chalitza ritual. Meanwhile, the woman had learned that according to kabbala, a chalitza serves as the mystical equivalent of a divorce. It is a way of forever severing contact with the soul of the deceased husband. This widow had decided that she would never remarry. She felt devoted to her late husband. She had heard that should she perform chalitza, her soul would not be reunited, for eternity, with the soul of her husband. She, however, wanted to join him when her time came. Her question was, could she opt out of the mitzva in order to assure that she be with her husband in the higher realm where the souls live on?

I will not go into Rav Moshe's ruling here. Rather, I would encourage each of us to think about our own relationships, our priorities and our commitments. Do we deal with the ones we love in a caring manner "until death do us part" or do we orient towards them with an eye on a higher purpose, seeking to forge a bond between soul and soul that will never end and will keep us united in purpose and in values for eternity?

If the shoe fits, wear it. Good Shabbos. D Fox

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