A Thought on Parshas Chayei Sarah

"...lo tikach isha l'bni mi'banos ha'Kanani..." (24:3) "...you may not take a wife for my son from the daughters of Kanan..." The Torah shows us the lengths that Avraham went to in assuring that his son Yitzchok only marry a descendant of Shem. He would not even allow his son to marry a daughter of Eliezer, his trusted disciple and servant. Eliezer was a descendant of Cham. We know that Eliezer had been circumcised. We infer this from the fact that Avraham uses the bris milah as a symbol that both he and Eliezer can respect in forming a covenant together. We can also conclude that Eliezer underwent a bris from the fact that all of Avraham's household were brought into the covenant of milah (17:27). We also know that Avraham himself took Hagar (and later Katura) for himself, which means that he married a descendant of Cham himself. We also see that when he circumcised his clan, in his zeal to perform that mitzvah, he waited until the end before performing his own circumcision. What is the meaning of that delay, and the meaning of Avraham having a standard for his son that differed from his own personal standard? And, for that matter, why is it that the very mitzvah of milah was given to him after he had fathered his first son, Yishmael, rather than earlier on? If it was important to perform milah on his family, and seemingly more important to do so to them than on himself, why was he given Yishmael as a son prior to being given the mitzvah of milah? Ibn Shu'aib perceives a theme within these observations. He suggests that one point that the Torah is teaching here is that tzadikim - righteous holy people - do not live for themselves, but rather they live to enact HaShem's will in bringing kedusha to the world. In essence, they serve HaShem by serving others. This is why Avraham gave bris milah to his clan before performing the covenant on himself. This is also why he did not pray to HaShem that Sara have children and instead settled for a maid servant/concubine from Cham, whereas he insisted that his son, Yitzchok (whom ibn Shu'aib calls "the Pure Offering Who Had Been Sanctified on the Altar") only marry a wife from Shem. He concerned himself with caring for his son's sanctity more than he appeared to focus on his own. Avraham refrained from praying that HaShem alter Sara's status from barren to fertile, "not wanting to ask HaShem to make miracles for him". In contrast, he insisted that his son have descendants only from a Shemite woman, which is why we find that Yitzchok did pray to HaShem that a miracle bring Rivka from barren to fertile. As for Avraham being given the mitzvah of milah only after he had borne his son, Yishmael, from Hagar, ibn Shu'aib offers an insight: Avraham was aware that his son Yishmael was the product of a concubine through the "Arur" Cham. Had Avraham fathered Yishmael after he himself was circumcised, this would have meant that Yishmael, though still the offspring of an "Arura" (the child of a shifcha is born with her status, even if fathered by a Yisrael), then Yishmael would still have come from 'tipa kedosha' - a trace of holiness. Therefore, Avraham was not commanded to have milah until after Yishmael was born. Having a bris milah would have elevated Avraham in kedusha. It would not be proper to fuse arur with kadosh. Avraham took care of the familial milah before tending to himself. He took care of Yitzchok's matrimonial needs before his own, and he insisted on a higher standard for his son than that which he had accepted for himself. These are the ways of the tzadik. Wishing you a Good Shabbos. D Fox